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Monday, July 15, 2013

5 Simple Ways To Overcome Shyness

By Denise N. Bates


Getting rid of your shyness may seem impossible but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you is typically always much worse than the reality of the situation. Fake it until you make it! This is an infamous saying in the sales world.It is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits.

Ask yourself why you are shy. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!

5 Ways To Overcome Shyness,Some of the components of shyness are lack of self-confidence and anxiety around others, difficulty carrying on a conversation, and a lack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations.Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general. Learning how to overcome shyness may seem like an insurmountable task, but help is available to you through several sources.

Smile more often.A nervous smile is better than no smile at all. But smiling is actually a great ice breaker and you may well find that's all you need to do to get other people to walk up to you and start talking. Then you have two options: run and hide or forget your shyness and carry on the conversation.The second choice is far and away the better one and will help you to overcome your shyness and social anxiety quicker than you ever dreamed possible.Research has shown that shyness is caused by three factors these are which when combined produces shyness. First is an excessive evaluation of self, secondly you view your self negatively and finally you are preoccupied with your self. When these three factors are combined, shyness occurs. This happens mainly during social events and around strange people.

So what is it that causes us to experience shyness? We have all experienced shyness at some point in life to a certain degree but the root cause really boils down to the following,Weak self image, overly occupied with self, and labelling. All of these negatives may have happened at some point during life situations and experiences that you have not come to closure with. These produce the negative emotion that is shyness. So how does one overcome shyness? One of the main ways of battling shyness is to increases awareness. This means you need to take into control your experience of shyness.Fist step in overcoming your shyness is to understand it.Every one has a unique type of shyness that is triggered by certain events, settings and situations. You need to find out what exactly is causing your trigger and what it is that you are concerned about.

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.Be honest and up front!... tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.Last but certainly not least. pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

Love yourself,Self appreciation is one of the best ways of overcoming shyness. Learn to love the unique expression that is you. Take some time and pen a love letter to yourself. Take some time to go out and do the things that you really enjoy. Be thankful for your health; spend some time to get to know yourself.Be none conforming,Never try to be someone else. This is extremely exhausting and no fun at all. Know that it is alright to be different. The truth is, people who are popular experience the same emotions, insecurities, self consciousness and feelings of awkwardness.Place your focus on other individuals,Instead of focusing on what makes you awkward, listen to what other have to say during social gatherings. Spend the time and learn about others. Get to know and understand what they have to say though conversation.Reduce your anxiety through controlled breathing,Fear and anxiety have a way of overwhelming you. One way to controlling these negative emotions are though becoming more assertive. You can control your anxiety by channelling it into smaller pieces and assimilating it slowly. This is done through controlled breathing. Slowly inhale and exhale as you clear the triggering thoughts.

Reduce anxiety through movement,Physical movement is one of the best ways to release pent up energies. Walking and jogging will help to clear the mind of situations that create anxiety. This renewed mind state will allow you to see things better.Affirmation,Words are very powerful and used in the right context they can change reality. The unconscious mind takes cues what the conscious mind hears and drives the being according. Spend time reaffirming positive words and over time you will begin to experience a change on how you view life which will impact your shyness.

When learning to communicate better in order to overcome shyness, it is important to understand the main root causes associated with shyness. The first potential cause is a low self-image. The second root cause is a high pre-occupation with what we are doing, thinking and feeling. The third is engaging in the act of labeling yourself as shy. When learning to communicate better, you will discover that you should not and are not expected to take full responsibility for the conversations that you engage in with others. Communication is an act of expressing thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions with others while receiving information from that person in return, and vice versa. By simply avoiding taking full responsibility for the conversation and knowing that all the attention is not just on you, you will be taking large strides in overcoming shyness due to insecurities. Remember, the person you are communicating with is likely just as nervous as you are.

Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.




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